Clients

This page profiles the individual and couple clients we guide through major life transitions, and lists the most common issues faced by our clients.

Individual Clients

Our individual clients fit some combination of the following profile:

• Are in some stage of life transition
• Are either between careers or are contemplating a major vocational change
• Yearn for a sense of purpose, passion, mission, fulfillment, meaning or destiny in their lives
• Are willing to address and share their life background and difficult transition issues
• Are serious about developing a transition blueprint and "game plan" for their lives
• Are successful in their vocation; typically in a position of influence and power, with even greater growth potential
• Are spiritually open, though not necessarily committed to or even involved in any religion or spiritual tradition
• Are open to emotional exploration, though their emotions may not be very well developed
• Sense that their current career, while financially or psychically rewarding, does not use all their talents;
• Don't understand their giftedness or "wiring"
• Seek greater self-awareness, self-actualization, self-confidence
• Feel blocked in a major area of their life (vocation, relationships, identity, sense of life purpose)
• Are open to exploring their "dark side" issues; the shadows or patterns that continually seem to sabotage their efforts or relationships
• Are open to a sense of service or stewardship; a destiny beyond themselves;
• Are intellectually gifted and self-reliant, but stuck in that they can't "figure out" a solution to their current dilemma
• Are in a place of immediate pain (e.g., health, financial or marital crisis)
• Have been in traditional counseling or therapy, but with little progress or healing
• Are open to exploring family-of-origin issues and patterns that are currently showing up in their lives
• Desire authentic friendships for both encouragement and accountability.

High achievers who retain OnCourse professionals for inspiration and guidance face some combination of the following issues. As you review the list, note the ones that are most relevant to you.

Personal and Identity Issues

• No sense of peace in your life
• Low self-confidence
• Your life is a blur of issues which you don't know how to resolve
• High levels of unused talent
• You need to face and make peace with your past
• Have a hard time saying 'No', and overcommit
• Facing serious physical health problems
• You are constantly fearful, anxious or confused
• You feel lost
• You are addicted to alcohol, food or substances

Marriage and Family Issues

• Your marriage needs revitalization
• You are divorced, separated, widowed and long for an intimate, authentic relationship
• You fear intimacy
• You carry unconfessed secrets
• Family life revolves around the children; the husband-wife relationship rarely gets attention
• Work supersedes family
• A child is going through a crisis, and you don't know what to do or how to help
• You have unresolved issues with an aging parent
• You are in crisis with an extended family member (parent, sibling, other relative)
• You would trade all the success you have achieved for a better relationship with your loved ones
• You are addicted to sex

Vocation and Money Issues

• You hate your career, but don't know what else you could do
• Specific life goals are not being realized
• Your career has become your identity
• You feel "driven," versus "called"
• You're locked-in (money, contract, personal commitments) to an unfulfilling career
• You feel driven to become financially independent
• You ARE financially independent, and fear you will lose the wealth you have accumulated
• You are addicted to activity or money
• You are addicted to power, prestige, attention or approval

Life Transition Issues

• You are stuck and don't know how to get out
• You current life goals seem shallow; you have no goals with real meaning or significance
• You are not in a career (quit, fired, laid off, sold business), and don't know what to do next
• You have only a vague mission statement or roadmap for your life
• Others see you as "successful," but you don't feel your life has any significance or fulfillment

Other Relationships Issues

• It's lonely at the top and you have no one to talk with
• You have no mentors in your life
• You are very sensitive to the opinions of others
• You desire deeper relationships with people who won't judge you
• You have no friends who will hold you accountable
• You are so competitive or goal-oriented that you tend to trample relationships
• You always have to be "on"
• You have no authentic relationships; no one is straight with you

Spiritual Issues

• You feel a spiritual void
• You carry anger either toward organized religion or toward God
• You feel tensions between being successful and being in integrity
• Your life is so geared to activity that you have little solitude or reflection time
• You fear death
• You long to experience grace and joy

If a combination of the above issues apply to your life, and you are willing to embark on a journey of self-exploration and transformation, to schedule a Personal Life Assessment.

Couple Clients

Our work is not "marriage or relationship therapy." We don't try to "heal" the relationship or even hold the relationship together. Our goal is to have each person take 100% responsibility for the state of the relationship (200% total), and for each person to commit to an authentic, intimate, caring, mature, responsible, disciplined relationship with THEMSELVES, first, before working on the couple relationship.

We work with couples in varying stages of their relationship. Using a medical metaphor, relationships may be broadly categorized as having: Full Health, a Head Cold, Bronchitis, Pneumonia. Below is a description of each of these categories. Regardless of where we start, our goal is to help committed couples move into a sustained healthy relationship.

Healthy Relationships

• Committed to authentic, truthful communications; speaking their truth to one another
• Each person takes 100% responsibility for his or her role in the relationship
• Ongoing appreciation for one another
• Conflicts are addressed quickly, cleanly, creatively
• Lots of laughter
• A mutual mindset of, "I want to please, honor, help, serve you... without giving up who I am."

Head Cold Relationships

• Occasional anger or pouting, but usually a quick recovery
• Occasional disagreement or clumsy communication around child rearing, sex, money, vocational roles or other difficult topics, yet a foundation of care and love exists in the partnership
• Denial about certain issues, perhaps saying something like, "Well, we just don't talk about _______." (e.g., sex, money, the in-laws, her drinking, his work, God).
• In a period of life transition (major career changes, children leaving home, ill or dying parents, financial duress), and neither party knows how to address the coming change.

Bronchitis

• One (or both) parties feels a sense of entitlement, "after all I've done"
• Major miscommunications: "I never said that."
• Weak boundaries - giving in, then getting angry
• An ongoing pattern of sullenness, blaming, complaining, concealing, controlling
• A major un-confessed secret (e.g., infidelity)
• Both parties are regularly trapped in the Victim-Villain-Rescuer triangle
• Patterns of addiction, enabling and co-dependence

Pneumonia

• Chronic, confessed or un-confessed infidelity
• Ongoing rage or physical abuse

Our couples' performance-enhancement programs help healthy relationships become even more vibrant. For Head Cold and Bronchitis relationships we first get the commitment of each party to work on themselves, then we guide them in developing and sustaining a healthy relationship. We do not work with couples in the "pneumonia" category.

If you are committed to a conscious relationship, to schedule an introductory consultation.